Call me old fashioned (or just plain old) but I just don't get it. What is it about our culture that has us so self absorbed that we want to spend hours every day taking photos......of ourselves??
I hate selfies. I don't take them. Let me explain why:
I have spent many, many (many) years of my life hating who I am - always being a people pleaser - valuing my own self worth by how other people valued me. It always mattered to me what other people thought of me so I tried very hard to be that "perfect" person.
I craved the love and affection of other people and always felt the need to fit in. I wanted approval from friends and family. I needed people to like me. If someone didn't like me, I would spend hours trying to figure out what was wrong with me and figuring out ways to make them like me.
Perhaps because I was never told I Love You as a child nor given that unconditional love that most parents give their children. Whatever the reason, I remained extremely insecure as a child and most of my adult years.
It has only been in recent years that I have started to grow comfortable in my own skin and the freedom from that "approval addiction" has literally changed my life. But I had to change. I didn't have a choice. I was dying inside and I needed to make a change - and fast. Oh, I am still insecure. I still want people to like me. But now if they don't, I only spend a few minutes instead of a few hours trying to figure it out.
Which brings us back to the whole "selfie" epidemic. I took "selfies" - once upon a time (I'm really sounding old tonight aren't I?) I would only take "selfies" when I was looking my best - with the best lighting - and no double chins. Then I would post the pictures on Social Media and wait for the comments to start rolling in. My entire self worth was now linked to how many "likes" my picture got on Facebook. Oh it was quite gratifying to see comments from friends about how "pretty" I was and it certainly padded the ego to see so many "likes" on one picture. But that gratification was shallow and could never fill up that true emptiness that I felt inside.
So I stopped. I stopped posting "Selfies" because I needed to love myself for who I was - the good, the bad and the ugly. And I needed to stop placing my value and self worth in the opinions of other people.
It has taken me 48 years to finally love myself for just me. As a child, I was never told that I was okay to just be myself. Love was never freely given in our household - it was always earned. I have never known unconditional love from a parent so my insecurities have run deep for many years.
But now, the only "selfies" I take are ones with friends and families (guess that's not really "self" though is it?) I love myself. I love who I am and the woman I have become.
If "selfies" are fun for you by all means keep taking them! But please don't place your value in the opinions of other people.
God created you perfectly imperfect and He doesn't make mistakes!