Wow, just typing the numbers 4 and 7 makes me cringe a little. I don't feel 47. If I am being honest, I don't even feel 27. I look back on my life and in the blink of an eye I am not only through my 30's but now pushing on the up side of the 40's staring straight into the face of the 50's.
And I start thinking.....where did the time go? Wasn't it just yesterday I was the carefree newlywed of 19 (yes 19) honeymooning in The Pocono's and purchasing our first home together? Was our wedding day really over 27 years ago?
I think it was only last week that I began yearning for a child and just a few days ago that we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and decided to start a family. Was my baby girl really born over 20 years ago?
And wasn't it just yesterday that we were so excited to expand our family but yet so devastated by the miscarriage of our second child? Did that really happen 19 years ago?
I can remember like it was this morning when a few months after the miscarriage we received the news that we were pregnant again. The excitement grew even larger when we discovered this was our son. Our family was complete and my baby boy was born over 18 years ago.
I look back now on the past 27 years married to my best friend and the past 20 years as a parent and I can see that time is but a mere fraction in this universe - in the blink of an eye, it passes us by. And we have nothing left but memories.
So what have I learned in my 47 years on this earth?
I have learned that life isn't perfect and neither am I. I have wasted too many hours trying to make sure every single part of my life was perfect and in the end, none of it really mattered anyway. I mean, honestly, how much was my 1 year old really going to care that she had a themed birthday party complete with party favors? Seriously?
I have learned that some things are just out of my control - not an easy thing to accept when you are OCD AND a Type A Personality. I cannot control other people and I cannot control the order of things - some things just have to happen in their timeline - not mine.
I have learned that GOD is ALWAYS in Control! I spent a lot of years trying to tell God what was best for my life instead of just trusting in Him. You know what I learned about that? God's plan was ALWAYS so much better than the plan I had for myself.
I have learned that life isn't about me. I know. That is a shocker. But I was selfish, insecure and a little....okay a lot.....demanding. I wanted things done my way and I didn't care who I hurt in the process. I thought getting my way would always make me happy but I only found my happiness when I started letting go of that control and truly started doing things for others.
I have learned that work isn't everything and a job doesn't define me as a person. That was a tough one for me. I am a self described workaholic and I found my self worth in my job title. I was blessed to work from home when my children were little but even then there were days when the television became their babysitter because my "work" was just too important not to get done. Wow. I missed out on so much.
I have learned how important it is to tell someone that you love them - and tell it to them often. I wasn't raised in a compassionate home and was never told "I Love you" as a child. My value was determined by my achievements and I never truly learned the importance of those three little words until much later in life. Now I say "I Love You" every day - to my husband, to my children and to my friends.
But most importantly I have learned how quickly life can pass you by and how sad it would be if you never took a moment to just stop and smell the roses along the way.
I am giving you permission to smell the roses!
I have learned so many great lessons during my 47 years on this earth! I cannot wait to see what the next 47 years will bring!
Here's to life! Bring it on!!