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My Story - My Life

This is a place for me to share my story.
Open.   Honest.    Not politically correct.
I am a Christian.   I will talk about God.

"Spring" Break??

3/16/2017

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Well, I just returned home from our "Spring Break" trip to Gatlinburg where just a few weeks ago, they were experiencing 70 degree weather and sunshine.

​This was our first day of the trip:

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Yes, in true Karch Vacation Fashion - we were faced with a snow storm on our Spring Break trip and the mountains were shut down!   The entire reason my daughter wanted to go to Gatlinburg was to hike the mountains and they were shut down due to ice and snow.

​I don't know if God was testing me or someone had just ticked off Mother Nature but my mission to have a "drama free" vacation was certainly being put to the test.

​It started when we arrived at the cabin and the temperatures starting falling below freezing.    Although the cabin was beautiful - it did not have a great place for the dogs to walk and relieve themselves.  Actually it had very little flat spots at all - I mean, we WERE in the mountains.     The cabin had three levels and although it DID have a mountain view, it wasn't as unobstructed as I would have liked.    My "perfect view" of this vacation, after all, was a secluded mountain cabin right in the middle of the Smoky Mountains with mountain views all around.     What I got, however, was a cabin nestled on a mountain in a "cabin community" with other cabins sitting all around.       Remember my previous post?    My "perfect vacation" never quite plays out in reality the way it looks in my head.

​As I was sitting in the cabin on that first night contemplating my "disaster", I looked up to see my son and husband having the time of their lives playing pool in the loft.     They were oblivious to the disaster going on in my head.      They were simply having a good time.   

​And then I remembered my promise  - my promise to change my attitude and just enjoy life for what it was.     God has been working on my attitude lately and I am quite certain I have tested His patience to a great degree!

​So I chilled out - and forgot about my "expectations" and just enjoyed time with my family.    My daughter and her fiancé arrived at the cabin later that evening and when she told me how much her fiancé loved the cabin, I knew my concerns with creating the "perfect" vacation could be laid to rest.

​For the first time ever, I had made absolutely no plans except tickets to a dinner show that everyone wanted to see.     But that was it.       Every morning we got up and planned the day as we went along.    Now I won't say that was easy for me - the "PLANNER" in me wanted to create a daily schedule right down to bedtime.

​But I can tell you that for the first time ever - I felt FREEDOM!    So the weather was bad - we stayed inside and played pool and sat in the Jacuzzi tub.     So the mountain view was obstructed - we drove into the mountains and got the view first hand.     And so the dogs had no place to run - we took them to the trails for some  (cold) walks.

​Our attitude can change everything about our lives.     I understand I am only talking about a vacation but I used this example to make a greater point -  we don't always have the power to change our circumstances but we DO have the power to change our attitudes.  

​This vacation means nothing in the scheme of life but it did give me a great opportunity to change my attitude and learn to relax just a little bit.     

​I have faced some huge disasters in my lifetime - including being on the brink of financial devastation - but learning to have the right attitude in the midst of the storm can be the key to making it through.

​I remember one time when I was competing for Mrs. Illinois International, a judge asked during the Interview Portion of the competition where I saw myself in 5 years.     My answer?    "Happy".    I told her I just wanted to be happy because often times when dealing with depression happiness seems elusive.    

​Well, that Interview was over 7 years ago so it took me a little longer than I had hoped but I think I am finally learning to master this "happy" thing.       Choosing to be happy won't make the hardships go away.     We will always face burdens as long as we grace this Earth.     But having the right attitude in life can certainly help to enjoy it just a little more.

​God has a way of teaching us in ways very unique to ourselves.     He used my love of travel (and my need for perfection) to show me that life doesn't always work out the way we planned.

​And that's (perfectly) okay!
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Nothing Personal - It's Just a Vacation

3/8/2017

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My family and I are preparing to leave this week for a family vacation to the Smoky Mountains and by all accounts I should be excited.        I AM excited to spend time with my children and husband but what doesn't excite me is the idea of a vacation.

Let me explain.

​I am a perfectionist.     I have made that known throughout my writings and although most days that serves me well - when it comes to vacations, perfectionism is NOT a great aptitude.

​You see, I love to plan trips.       I could have been a Travel Planner in another life because just the thought of taking a trip sets my wheels in motion.      I love everything about planning trips from finding just the right location to setting up events and activities to be done throughout the week.

​I OBSESS over planning vacations.      And perhaps because my vision of the trip during this planning process is always perfect, I expect the trip to be perfect as well.     

​Well, I don't know how many "perfect" family vacations you have ever taken but my count is at ZERO!   I go into each vacation with such high expectations that when things start to fall apart - I fall apart.  Literally.

​I was not raised in a very loving household and my parents disappointed me on more than one occasion.       So when I  was blessed with becoming a mom, I was certain that I would do everything within my power NOT to disappoint my children and this included providing them with some fun "family moments" throughout their lives.

​Partner this "need to please" with my perfectionism and you have a true recipe for disaster.    Throw in the whole "control freak" factor and things are really headed for a downward spiral.

​You see, what I could never allow myself to let go of was the fact that some things are out of my control.   Literally.

​The weather, for instance.    Completely out of my control.     So when I finally saved enough money to take my family on a cruise to the Bahamas and they had the COLDEST WINTER on record in 100 years - out of my control.      

​The crowd sizes at amusement parks - out of my control.      So when I take my children to Universal Studios and have a nervous breakdown because the extreme crowd sizes are affecting MY schedule - out of my control.

​Or there was the time we were visiting Nashville and my kids weren't very impressed with the town which I took personally so I dropped them and my husband at the hotel and took off.     Yeah, that one is on me.  

​Here is my point:    I am learning every day what is truly important in life and what things simply do not matter.       I am BEYOND BLESSED to be able to take my family on a vacation so the weather or crowds or even if someone likes the location or not - none of that should matter to me.     It is nothing personal.  

​Nothing personal.     Truer words were never written because throughout my life I have had a tendency to take most things  (okay - EVERYTHING) personally.        I have spent my life being a people pleaser and needed the approval of those around me in order to thrive.    

​It has taken me 48 years to figure it out but I finally get it.      This trip is not about being perfect - it's about spending time with my family and feeling the love we share.        Will the weather be bad?   Probably.       Will we fight crowds at the attractions?   Most likely.      But I can't control those things.

​What I CAN control is my attitude.    And I am choosing to enjoy this time and finally have a family vacation free of a mental break-down.         I finally get it - I finally understand.      There are so many things outside of my control and that is okay.      But controlling my attitude is the key to the family vacation I have been searching for.

​My family doesn't need the perfect vacation - they just need me.     And my attempt to make the vacation "perfect" was actually ruining it for them. 

​So I have promised my family and myself that this time - finally - it will be different.    No expectations.    No plans.     Just time spent with the family - drama free.

​Check back next week for an update and see if I was able to make it happen!



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    I hope you enjoy my ramblings about life.  I promise to always be honest.    No pride here.

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