2018 was a year of change for me and I suddenly started losing track of who I was or what my purpose was in life. We sold our home and moved into a camper as we tried to figure out what we wanted to do with our lives. While we thought we were improving our lives, we mostly ran in circles. And during that time of change and reflection, I suddenly lost my voice.
I have always been a very independent person - never afraid to voice my opinion or share my beliefs. I grew up in a world where differences were embraced and no one got offended when you shared your opinion. Now - granted - I do often have issues with (what is the word?) - oh, yes, TACT. But that is because I simply try to speak the truth and don't believe in candy coating reality or tip toeing around my words. I created this website as a ray of hope for those in need. Because when you are in that dark place like I was - you just need the truth.
But then last year - for whatever reason - some past insecurities began rising up inside of me and I started questioning everything I said or did. I became fearful of the judgment of the outside world and what they would think of me if they knew the truth of my struggles. So I shut down. And I shut up.
And I stayed silent for a long time.
But then God intervened - as He often does - through the words of a friend who encouraged me to continue sharing my story and not to be afraid. She told me that if just one person heard my story and was helped - then my job was done.
And she was right. I don't know who reads my blog or if this website even helps anyone but for now, I am going to obey the leading in my Spirit and begin to share my testimony again.
I am a little old fashioned so you might find the things I have to say a little outdated but they are my thoughts and feelings so take them with a grain of salt.
Have you been having trouble lately finding your own voice? Or have you come to a point in your life where you are seeking your identity? If so, you are not alone. I turned 50 last October and I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Although I don't have my life figured out yet, one thing I do know for sure is I will no longer allow my candle to be blown out. We all have a fire burning inside of us - we just need to learn how to control it and use it in a positive way.
Don't ever let anyone tell you that your thoughts and opinions do not matter. Even greater than that, don't ever feel insecure or inadequate just because your opinion is different from someone else's. Embrace the differences of your fellow neighbor and speak freely as we learn from one another.
No one person has all the right answers. And no two people will agree on absolutely everything. But that is what makes this world so entirely wonderful! I never get offended when someone believes differently than me or disagrees with what I have to say. That is how we grow as human beings - we learn from one other.
2019 will be a year of growth for me as I find my voice again. And I begin to live my truth.
What truth do you need to start living?